House is an asshole.

I need Dr.House to give me some smart ass remark about what the hell is in my eye. I want to pop it out with a spoon and rinse it out off under a Brita Filter. My sexy, flirty eyelashes are most likely to blame. I have to stop giving willy-nilly butterfly kisses and risk getting these luscious eyes pubes stuck in my seers. It feels like I am wearing fiberglass insulation contacts. You can recognize me on the street now, I'm the guy with the Terminator red eye. Suck. Dr.House would run a tox screen and check my dick hole for lupus and at the end have a revelation and prescribe me Visine.